Today we had Crazy Hat Day at work. It was great timing for me, since my baby sister s is just wrapping up Spirit Week at her high school, and I was starting to feel that wave of nostalgia I always get when I hear about someone else’s fun high school experience. This was a chance for me to wear something goofy on my head, with the full acknowledgement that I would be embarrassing myself in front of my colleagues in an effort to bring some spirit and life to the workplace. While I searched for just the right piece of headgear, the boyfriend found my high school graduation cap, sitting dusty and forgotten on top of my TV armoire. Duh, perfect.

You’re not really getting the full effect from this photo, but this. hat. is. GLITTERY. It also had the unintended consequence of reminding everyone I work with that the majority of even the youngest people there graduated college before I marched at my high school graduation, but whatever. Class of ‘05 rules!

Anyway, I was joking with a coworker over email that my hat is so sparkly and over the top because that’s just the kind of girl I was in high school. “That’s how you were in high school?” she wrote back, teasingly (I hope. Katie?).

Truth. I am still the same loud, attention-seeking, the-more-glitter-the-better girl I was when I was 17. And I couldn’t be more proud of that. When I think about who I was when I was 17, I love that person—I was fun, and sunny, and talkative, and I had opinions. I snuck into the pool with my girlfriends to go swimming at night with boys, I took trips around the country with my friends, I rode in the winning float at the Homecoming parade, I was published in a book. If I wanted my parents to find me in a sea of 600+ graduating seniors, my cap was going to sparkle…and my teachers and fellow students expected nothing less. After a few very rough college years, I couldn’t see the glitter anymore. It’s taken me awhile to feel my way back. 

This is basically a post about my own self-love, and most of you probably dropped off awhile ago. I totally understand, but I still wanted to write this. My friends and family know that it hasn’t been the easiest road, but if I had to design my cap again, I might add even more sparkle this time around.

And now I’m off to spend some valuable time with my equally glittery friends. LOVE YOU.

5:09 pm  •  21 October 2011

I feel a little behind on this one, but I don’t care—I have to post. Bestie m emailed c and I yesterday that Mindy Kaling (amazing Kelly from The Office) was tweeting about “#BFFrights”—all the things that the very best of friends do for each other and are entitled to just because. Anyway, Mindy complied a pretty great list, and I started making my own. Some are pretty specific…and some are more general. Originally I was tweeting this (@powernapp!) but 140 characters isn’t a lot for someone as wordy as I.

• I know most of the lines to your childhood home videos by heart…and the majority of them feature our other close friends.
• You won’t burp in front of me because I hate it…and when you do, I will forgive you instantaneously, because it’s such a rare occurrence.
• I have loved and sometimes grieved your pets as though they were my own.
• It’s not at all weird that my little sister has given you her leftover birth control when she switched prescriptions.
• My dad is currently beating you at Words with Friends.
• I know that you take two sticks of gum.
• We’ve discussed our cartoon outfits. Multiple times. And we will again.
• You’ll videochat with me and make me try on all my jeans just to see how much weight I’ve lost.
• My mom knows the secrets your mom can’t.
• I will change the radio station when a song you hate comes on, before you have a chance to complain about how much you hate it.
• You will stay on top of my facebook/twitter passwords so you can delete that shit in the unfortunate event that a tragic accident befalls me. I refuse to be digitally memorialized. You will also contact anyone I’ve ever drunkenly sexted and ask them to kindly delete our conversations…stat.
• Your fight is my fight.

message or tweet me your additions! i want to hear what you think your rights are as a BFF.

7:49 pm  •  13 October 2011

Well. I was going to start off this post, as I have so many others, by apologizing for being gone for so long. But then I decided against it. As I’ve learned from recent events in my life, apologizing for things I’m not the least bit sorry for is a huge mistake, and ultimately leads to disaster. Much better to be honest: I have been BUSY! Way too busy to sit down and collect my thoughts. Also, I had a migraine yesterday.

Here are some things that have been keeping me occupied this month:

• The X Factor. Unforgivable that it was canceled last night for baseball. That show is craaaazy good and I am eating it up. Never mind the fact that I have an inexplicable crush on Simon Cowell (he just seems to have his shit together!) and that Nicole’s hair is so shiiiiny…
• Looking for an apartment. Yes, the search continues, and I would love for it to not go on into the snowy months, so please, do a girl a favor and let me know if you know of any cute, fun, normal girls who want to live with someone who is similarly cute, fun and normal!
• Spin. If you’d like to know where to find me most Monday (and some Wednesday) evenings, the answer is the White Plains NYSC in 6:30 Spin class with my friends from work. I’ve juuuust gotten to the point where I can stand on the bike the entire time the instructor tells us to and it. feels. AMAZING. I’m going to Puerto Rico in 2 weeks and I refuse to look like a mushy lump.
• Stalking out the iPhone 4S. Boyfriend is trying to get me the 4 to hold me over until my upgrade comes around in April, but I am too, too anxious for words. So over this Droid shit, I want my phone to sync up with my iPad, to sync up with my MacBook…
• Cleaning house. Not literally—those of you that actually know me know that that would be a bold-faced lie. I mean more in the spiritual sense. I’ve realized that once in awhile, it’s very important to take stock of your surroundings, get in touch with yourself, and rid your life of those things that bring you down or in any way cause you consistent unhappiness. I did this at the very beginning of the month, albeit unintentionally, and it has been a wonderful experience. When I told a close friend of mine that a somewhat toxic relationship had come to a close as September ended, she simply asked, “Will your life be easier now?” As soon as I realized that the answer was definitively, without a doubt, YES! I knew that I would be moving on to a happier, healthier, place. Peace out, cub scout.
• The new OPI/Muppets collection. Please tell me you’ve seen these. NO!? Well, never fear! Swatches to come. :)
• Fall activities. This is one of the only times of the year that I stop dreaming of moving to one of the Carolinas. Aside from the 80-degree weather we had this past weekend (obviously I was at the beach, getting sunburned) I have taken full advantage of my favorite fall activities. I’ve been apple picking, baked a bangin pie, and next weekend you’ll find me lost in a corn maze. I’ve also been wearing boots and vampy nail polish since the 2nd day of September. Love me some Autumn.

That is all, my little lovelies. Back for more soon.

4:39 pm  •  13 October 2011

Here’s the deal. When I started this blog, so very many months ago, yet sadly, so very few posts ago, I intended to focus on nail polish. This was a kind of way to excuse and justify my ever-growing collection…not that I really need to justify this collection, since it’s rarely questioned, but on the rare occasion that my mom or my little sister a tries to calculate exactly how much I’ve spent on polish, and how it doesn’t QUITE make up for the fact that I don’t ever get real manicures anymore, it would be nice to say it was all in the name of blogging, and that I was really doing it for you guys, my faithful readers.

Now, that didn’t pan out, because I began to realize that if I blogged every time I changed my color, I’d be posting nearly every day. So I gave up on trying to talk about my nails.

Until last week, while sorting through my colors, when they just seemed too pretty not to photograph and share. I believe it was the esteemed Becky Bloomwood, the titular shopaholic of the acclaimed Shopaholic series, who said she had plenty of pictures of people she didn’t even like, so she may has well have a few photos of things she truly loved. So, behold, dear reader who has made it this far through a post about my nail polish: all 130 (actually 129, Ski Teal We Drop is at work) of my shades.

How pretty are my babies? I know. Almost as pretty as glittery Britney Spears in the post below this one.

8:43 pm  •  1 September 2011  •  1 note

In my life (all 24 years of it :) I have been known to develop what less enlightened individuals might call obsessions with particular female celebrities and their style and beauty trademarks. 

For example, there was a time (circa 1999) when I thought Jessica Simpson was the most beautiful, talented creature on earth. I Think I’m in Love was my all-time favorite song, and no one rocked a french braid across their forehead like J. Simp in that video. I was convinced that I was destined to grow up and be just like her—the kind of girl that performs choreographed dances on carnival boardwalks and stands up to sing while her friend drives a convertible. You remember:

And then, alas…Jessica’s dad started saying creepy things about her boobs, and she started talking way too much about that purity ring said creepy dad gave her, and then she got married and made us all question whether we were eating chicken or tuna. And I was over it.

Some time later, I discovered the wonder that is the Olsen twins. Ask me why I fell in love with them when I was about 17, instead of when I was 9 and the rest of my friends were watching them “solve any crime by dinnertime” in The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley, and I’ll explain that when I was 9, I was too busy playing with my Power Ranger action figures to fully appreciate their perfectly coordinated outfits and subtly highlighted hair. At 17, however, I got my hands on Getting There, When in Rome, and New York Minute, and was blown away by how far they had come from their Full House days. Born a mere 14 months before me, Mary Kate and Ashley (Ashley being my preferred twin—FYI, they are not identical, for all you ignorant haters) seemed light years ahead of me in the wardrobe, hair, and beauty department—never mind the fact that no matter where they went in their travels, they always landed the two hottest guys, who always seemed to also be best friends and/or brothers. And these past few years, through Mary-Kate’s stint in rehab, her shady involvement in Heath Ledger’s untimely death, and her unforgivable descent into the land of muu-muus and bag lady clothing, I have defended her with a loyalty I save for only my closest friends (and for Britney Spears in her lowest moments, but more on that later). I love these sisters as if they were my own, and one day, I will own a $14,000 handbag from The Row. Preferably the turquoise one Mary-Kate is holding below (right):

I wish I could even put into words the way I feel about Kim Kardashian. The thing is, every time I start to doubt my love and admiration for this polarizing glamazon, I catch a glimpse of a photo of her and all of my doubts are shocked into silence—is there anyone on the planet more unbelievably stunning than she is? Most of you probably think yes, but from her perfect, flowing, glossy hair, to her huge eyes and mile-long lashes, to her high, sculpted cheekbones and flawless tan…she is Princess Jasmine come to life. And to everyone who tries to tell me how fake she is, how much make up she wears—duh. Why do you think I’m so impressed!? Do you know how much work it is to find your perfect palette? How long it takes to get ready when you’re not just naturally without imperfection? And how impressive it is that she pulls off that look, not only on the red carpet or on magazine covers, but when she’s in the airport, at the grocery store, on the beach, leaving the gym…The girl always looks glamorous, yet never looks out of place. Unreal. 

The one thing I will say about Kim, however, is that there is a time where your hair and make up shouldn’t matter, and that’s the bedroom. The fact that so much of your sex tape featured you chewing gum and fixing your mascara while Ray J watched was boring, Kimmie. Best of luck to you and Kris H.

Finally, we come to my (fine!) obsession with the all powerful Britney Spears. Let’s just say, when I meet someone, and I’m trying to decide what kind of presence they’ll be in my life, what kind of friend they’ll be and what kind of relationship we’ll have, their views on the legendary Ms. Spears are usually a pretty clear determinant of how well we’re going to get along:

If you join me in my undying love for B, will spend countless hours YouTubing old videos and forgotten Chaotic footage, and share my dream of one day wearing the infamous naked sparkly Toxic outfit (picture below for all you ridiculous non-fans) as my no-one-else-on-the-planet-has-friends-like-these friends c & m do, you know me inside and out. You know all my secrets, and we’ve probably never been mad at each other for more than 45 minutes. 

If you personally don’t love Brit, but you tolerate my enthusiasm, you’re amused by it, find it endearing, and indulge it because you love me, you’re like my mom, my college roommate/love of my life k, and probably a little like my boyfriend—even though we may not agree, I’m one of your favorite people in the world (BACK ATCHA!) so we’ll get along just fine! 

If you just plain don’t get it, find B abhorrent, and cringe every time you hear “It’s Britney, Bitch!” then I’d rather we don’t communicate. 

Because seriously, anyone who can’t respect a girl who can bounce back from pink wigs, Kevin Federline, and holding her child hostage in a bathroom (yeah, I was studying abroad in Athens for that one and even the Greeks were up in arms) can bite me. There is something comfortingly unifying about being out in a bar or a club and watching every girl in the room throw her arms in the air and swing her hair around, thinking she IS Britney Spears when Womanizer comes on. And have you ever even watched Chaotic? That show was adorable.  Not to mention the fact that the closest I ever felt to my dad was when he asked me to upload If You Seek Amy to his iPad. And he knew what it meant.

Now you probably want to watch Jessica Simpson’s I Think I’m in Love video, or BritBrit’s Toxic video. I know, so do I.

Jess: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7uxf8kBBlg

Brit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOZuxwVk7TU

2:32 pm  •  1 September 2011  •  2 notes

is there anything better than spending a saturday afternoon with your family? 

2:47 pm  •  23 July 2011

it was requested by multiple sources (pretty much the only people who read this) that i add comment capability to my posts. until tumblr figures out how to have comments on the themes i had before, i’ll be using this one.

with any luck, that will be the worst news i get today.

12:18 pm  •  20 July 2011

would you believe the idea for this post came from my father? 

basically, instead of just taking pictures of my manicures, i’m going to take pictures of my manicures with their perfect real world matches.

get it?

this one’s kind of a given: essie geranium with a live geranium. still, impressive work on essie’s part, no?

10:53 pm  •  18 July 2011

I’m flattered. When 9 do (even if 4 of them are members of my family) I start to feel really, really popular. I promise to be better about this. If nothing else, my birthday is a mere 35 days away, and all people know to get me is one pair of wedges. Tragic.

Here’s a list of things that have been keeping me too busy to blog (or call my grandfather, for which I received some choice words this evening):

• Friday Night Lights. How did I never watch this show before? How do I go back in time and make my family raise me in Texas? Who is prettier and more annoying than Lyla Garrity?
• Looking for an apartment. Please let me know if you’re aware of a normal, fun, 22-27-year-old girls looking for a roommate in the city. This search is not easy, and it is not fun, and I would like for it to be over so I could start decorating a teeny-tiny bedroom somewhere.
• Target Practice. OK, so it was just the one time. Still, who knew that I was going to be sick with a .22 caliber semi-automatic? And that I hate revolvers? Weird. 
• The Hunger Games trilogy. Have you read these books? Insane.
• Work. I’m just really swamped, OK?

Anyway, I promise to be better. If only because of the birthday thing, and because I promised my little sister a, and I hate to disappoint.

10:37 pm  •  18 July 2011  •  2 notes

This is probably the number one reason to have a blog. So that when you come home to an empty house and the shoes you’ve been lusting after all spring have finally arrived in the mail, you have an imaginary internet audience to tell about it.

4:14 pm  •  25 May 2011

It’s pretty well established that I’m not the easiest person to buy gifts for. Last week I started emailing myself links of stuff I like, since my birthday is a mere 89 days away.

Jeffrey Campbell V-Man Wedges. I think I would quite like to wear these shoes.

7:26 pm  •  24 May 2011

Many thanks to h & m (HA!) for helping with the very arduous task of coming up with a name for this blog…since we all know that was the main road block in me finally starting to post. Now I expect both of you to read on the reg. <3

5:43 pm  •  24 May 2011